Today I found out that my 22 year old cousin was killed last night. He was jumped by some guys who were trying to rob him and they stabbed him a couple times and he died at the scene. I wasn't really close with him since we don't live close but we talked occasionally on Facebook plus this is the first family member death I've experienced, I've lost grandparents but they passed when I was a child so there passing wasn't impactful. I'm having a very hard time dealing with this for several reasons, he was a good kid! He had a 4 year old daughter who he absolutely adored and he had just gotten married. It's just not fair that there's so much evil in this world. On top of that I live out of state with absolutely no family and have a toddler who has been sick and extra whiny. I was so angry with her because I am so overwhelmed and I know kids can sense stress but Jesus Christ I just couldn't deal with everything! Luckily she is down for the night which was a task in itself. My head feels like it's about to explode, I feel like throwing up I just feel like shit. I miss my family, I need a hug! So many feelings rushing through my head and I'm thousands of miles away from everyone. No friends no family....I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason but when evil strikes I can't help but question god. It makes me so angry and resentful, I don't like feeling this way. I just needed to let out so of my emotions.