Mother in Law driving a wedge between marriage
My husband and I have been married 3 years and every holiday ends in tears for me. Thanksgiving this year we had to drive an hour to my family lunch which is 1 pm every year it never changes. My husband is the only person going to eat at his grandmas house but he refused to ask them to do dinner with him so he could be with me (his wife) longer than an hour before having to drive an hour to his grandmas. I was left at my family lunch alone while everyone else had their husbands. I am not welcomed over at his family’s and if I do go it’s very obvious that I am not wanted there. He was adopted and when we got married he started having a relationship with his birth mother and this side of his family. She has disrespected me several times and he doesn’t see it. One time taking my husband in the back of the house leaving me outside with her boyfriend who I didn’t know so they could have “family time”. I’m very introverted and shy but his mother says I am stuck up and think I am better than her when in reality being around someone loud and immature just tires me out and causes me to be very anxious and nervous. She has put me in very uncomfortable conversations about getting pregnant when I plan to finish my masters before kids. She didn’t go to college,had 6 kids and everyone of them have been taken away by DSS including my husband. My mother is extremely different so I cant understand how he enjoys being around her and their relationship . The last time I went over to his grandmothers (where his almost 40 year old mother lives with her boyfriend ) I was picking my husband up with my mother because his mom hit him in the face. I have not forgiven her but he continues to act like they are the best people ever. He doesn’t take up for me so I completely stopped going being it caused me so much anxiety. He goes over there and I never hold him back I just deal with the fact he’s okay just going to a place where his wife is wanted. ( it’s been over two years ) He thinks I believe I am better than them but I just truly believe it’s better for me not to be there but because of this my husband isn’t with me on holidays. I’m to the point where I’m just numb and don’t ever want to bring kids into this situation because I would never allow my child to go over with his family if I haven’t been welcomed or respected. I feel like it’s honestly going to cause a divorce and it’s really sad because before they were back in his life we never had an issue. He cut off the people who adopted him completely and I was welcomed by them and had great holiday celebrations with them. Im so confused on what to do at this point. I’m tired of having the same argument with him and it never being solved. Thinking about going over there really makes my anxiety bad and I know it’s not healthy to put that stress on my body for hours.
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.