I was so prepared for a Christmas announcement....

I've been feeling a little....off the last few weeks. Sore breasts, mood swings, changes in taste and smell, fatigue, the works. my last period was light and long. but ever since my miscarriage in January, my cycles have been a bit funky, including having more intense PMS symptoms. I wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving, having a glass of wine with dinner and dessert. Yesterday I took a test, vvfl, clearly positive! I told my husband I thought I was pregnant so we went to the store and bought a few tests. Got home and again, bfp! We didn't want to get too excited so we took the night and just relaxed. I was already planning on a Christmas announcement. this would have been my parents first grandchild. Oh the ideas were filling my brain! Then I started thinking about our miscarriage and decided to just wait it out before I start making those gift decisions. I woke up this morning and took another test. Definitely positive, much darker than yesterday, but there was bleeding. I tried to play it off as normal but the bleeding keeps getting worse and intense cramping has begun. i took some Tylenol to help with the cramps but I have been curled in my bed waiting for the pain to stop. I cried and got angry. I was supposed to have an ultrasound for fertility in about 10 days when my period was supposed to begin. Now who knows when I'll get my next. We have been struggling to conceive for 2.5 years and just when things start to look up, we get horribly disappointed. Last year, my husband told me his New Resolution was to get me pregnant. Well he did. But hopefully next year we can get one that sticks. I won't give up, even if I feel like giving up right now. Tomorrow is a new day. And December is a new month.