I am 21 years old, born in a big city somewhere in Sweden. I have a big range of people I can call to hang out with when I am bored. But have only two friends 🤷🏻‍♀️

1. My friend since childhood and the only thing that have kept us together is just our secrets that we used to share with eachother when we was younger. Well she still do share them, but I did stop for a long time ago.

2. My husband. He did become my husband because I love to share everything with him. But unfortunately he dosen’t have time to listen to ”everything” since he work all the time and I dosen’t know why because we have money more than enough.

People often say that I am very beautiful and have big heart. Which I can’t deny, I offer help more than I can give, and laugh at bad jokes because I want the person I talk with to feel important and funny, and everything else that makes them feel better as a person.

I have not talked with my family over a half year. And I am ashamed because I am or was a big family person... I am still, but they are so demanding. The people I know are also demanding, it’s like, I don’t want to have contact with anybody. I always need to be nice because of the respect, not say what is on my mind, because that would be crazy. And I am tired of laughing at their somewhat bad jokes and then say something with I love our humor, for better connection, and so on. I am tired of feeling like I don’t want to talk with people by the way I hate to talk in the phone. Because I always need to think about what I say and after the call I am mostly hard on myself and saying to myself after the call something with ”I should not have said that, why did I not say that instead”. So is this me just being weird or does it sound like a have real big problems? I would be really greatful for any advice, because this is driving me crazy and I want to like people....

P.S sorry for my english, it’s not my first language.