What to do?

Recently I have begun to find myself again and really start to focus on me, all of this year I suffered with chronic depression and anxiety that took a massive toll on everything in my life. My partner lost his cousin to depression, they were very close, like brothers. Because of this he had server anxiety and also suffered with depression, he also changed into this spiteful person that would get mad very easily and would blame me for almost anything. He already had a history of it but had been happy for a long time, but once this happened it went south pretty quick. We both lost 2 family members each and had lost all our money in situations that we never knew could happen.. I finally realised what was happening to us and I wanted to change not just for him but for myself.. I had become to wrapped up in helping him and focused on what everything else thought of me, or that I was not worth the life I lived. I became so worried about everyone’s else opinion on me that I forgot myself and I needed to focus on me just for a bit so I could then start to fix our relationship. Everything from than has been going smoothly, I have my bad days and my good ones, so does he but non like before which is great! But today something made me really confused and mad...it sounds weird but yes that is how I felt. Today my partner said to me that I never ask how he is..... that really hurt my feelings because I do!! I know I do because I worry so much about him, yes I might not be doing it as often, but this is only because I have been really wrapped up in my own thoughts and what makes me happy.. I don’t want to be selfish but I need time to fix me and it kinda hurts because he is the one that never actually asks how I am really. Yes he asked how was my day and that but doesn’t actually say “How are you?” Like wanting to know how I am mentally, where if it’s me I constantly ask that question. I’m not sure what to do in this sense because now he is upset, when we get into an argument I tend to become quiet only to think but he instantly thinks I’m mad. I’m more confused that he would say that... he knows I constantly ask because he always says “babe I’m fine, stop asking me all the time turd” but I don’t know, I feel like I should wait for him to say something but recently he has been getting really upset about that.. he’s kinda going back on everything he said to me before... for example he would get upset if I would constantly ask those question or keep trying to talk to him even though he’s upset.

I think I’m just really unsure to why he would be acting this way. It has been getting worse and I’m not sure if its because I’ve stopped paying so much attention to him or if he is feeling down again.

Need some advise.