Considering abortion when I already have a child

I was just wonder if anyone has had an abortion after they already had a child and if there was resentment towards the child you already have. I’m worried that I will be mentally unable to care for or even look at my son. We are not considering abortion because of financial or stability reasons, we are married but concerned because of how many suicidal thoughts we dealt with the last time I was pregnant, even with medication. There were also issues because of how physically tired pregnancy made me last time, to the point where I was in bed for weeks and couldn’t walk up or down stairs without resting. My husband is concerned I would be unable to care for my son while I was pregnant and even though I am only about a month along, u am concerned as well. Just trying to see if anyone has been through this. I honestly don’t really want to have an abortion, but I’ve already been having suicidal thoughts recently even before I got pregnant and my husbands view is that it’s better for him to lose a potential child than lose us both.