Tough choices...

So, I’ve decided to try fertility treatments to have a child on my own. (This is not a “spur-of-the-moment” decision, I’ve made it months ago and the appointment is coming up next week. Magically (and just in time for Christmas) the price of donor samples went up, and now I’m scared that I’ll require more than one vile. I know I should have anticipated this, but I’m new to this... I didn’t know they could raise prices on that stuff.

Anyways, what’s terrible is, is that I NEED to have this child. I pass clots the size of my hand, and bleed through a super pad in no time at all... and no doctor is willing to give me a hysterectomy until my childbearing stage is satisfied. I’m in agony every month, and it’s a hassle in and of itself. I’ve tried hormone treatments, medications, injections, etc. And nothing works... but nobody’s willing to remove my uterus unless I have a child. Which brings me back to not being able to afford a donor now.

“Just have sex” some will say, easier said than done when your body clamps up so much that it makes Fort Knox look like candy land. Sex is an extremely painful experience, and not because I have endometriosis or anything. (It’s a story for another time) I feel hooped. I can’t afford to keep having my problem because my life revolves around an unpredictable hemorrhaging every month (sometimes more than one a month), but I can’t afford the solution either.

I don’t know what to do now 😭😭😭😭😭