And I crazy?

I have been dating my bf for a year. I’m his first gf and he’s my first bf. We are in college and haven’t had sex yet but have done oral/fingering. Everytime he fingers me (legit I mean every single time) I probably say slow, gentle about a good hundred times!!! Am I crazy to think he should know this by now, I don’t say it just because he really hurts me. I called him out and said it’s like he’s intentionally trying to hurt me because he should know how gentle to be especially when he starts fingering. Is it just him being clueless even though I tell him every single time? Shouldn’t he catch on by now? I don’t want to have sex with him anymore because I feel like he won’t listen to me