Sorry, this is very long! Had to get my feelings about this birth out.

Sunday night (November 26th) I woke up at 11:30 pm and found that my underwear was soaked. I wasn’t sure if my water had broken or if I just peed myself (because hello, pregnant), so I changed and went back to sleep. The next morning I woke up to get ready for work. I went to the washroom and when I stood up there was a fairly significant gush of fluid that ran down my legs. The fluid was clear so I was very sure my water had broken. I was exactly 37 weeks at this point.

Woke hubby up and we hurried off to the hospital where I spent a couple hours in triage while the nurses tried to determine if my water had truly broken or not. They took a sample and the test came back negative for amniotic fluid. They told us to go home and then come back in 6 hours for them to redo the test.

Hubby and I did some errands and got lunch. We hadn’t installed the car seat yet so we did that and then went and got it checked at the fire hall because we still had time to kill.

Went back to the hospital around 3pm and they re-did the test and confirmed my water had indeed broken. They told us we weren’t leaving the hospital without a baby!

I wasn’t having noticeable contractions and because of the risk of infection from my water being broken they decided to induce me. The doctor inserted a cervadil at 4pm and they said they’d check me in 12 hours. I walked the halls for hours and eventually the contractions became so painful I could hardly breathe through them. They brought me a birthing ball which helped me focus a bit. I had been hoping to have a pain-medication free birth, so when the nurse offered me something for the pain I declined. I thought I would at the very least wait until the next time they checked me to see how dilated I was and then decide if I wanted anything for the pain.

When they checked me after the 12 hours at 4am I hadn’t dilated at ALL from when they first put the cervadil in. I was not quite a centimetre. Checking my cervix was SO painful and after 12 hours of contractions with no progress I was so discouraged and exhausted.

The doctor said they were going to start me on pitocin at this point which means we got to move from triage to a labour and delivery room as soon as one was available. I kept walking the halls and a couple of hours later we moved to L&D.; This was around 6am. My contractions had slowed considerably since they removed the cervadil but I was still in a decent amount of pain so the nurse offered me some morphine and gravol to take the edge off and help me get some sleep. I knew the pitocin was going to cause intense contractions and I realized that I couldn’t get through this birth without getting some rest so I agreed to the morphine and gravol. Hubby was given a sleeper chair and we both got a few hours of sleep.

The contractions from the pitocin woke me up around 8am. Not too painful but it gradually got worse and throughout the day. I received two more doses of morphine.

Being hooked up to the IVs and monitors was a real pain and really hindered my ability to walk/stand/use the birthing ball etc. They kept me on the pitocin and checked me very infrequently due to the risk of infection from my waters being broken. Each time they checked me I was still “1 to 2 centimetres” (I really think they were being generous). I was very discouraged at this point.

Around 7:30pm on Tuesday they told me they were going to disconnect the pitocin (which I had been on for about 12 hours) and start me on an oral induction medication called Misoprostol. First they brought me and hubby to an empty postpartum room with a shower so we could clean up and go get something to eat. It was so nice after 2+ days to shower and feel somewhat human again.

After we showered we went back to our L&D; room where they started me on the Misoprostol. It’s a liquid oral medication that you take every 2 hours with the dosage increasing until you’ve reached 10 doses. Took the first dose and then went to sleep, they came and woke me up every 2 hours for the next dose. Contractions woke me up around 8am to the point where I couldn’t fall asleep anymore. This started day 3 of my induction with contractions gradually getting more intense throughout a 12 hour period. Again I got some doses of morphine throughout the day when I needed to rest.

Around 4pm my nurse asked how far apart my contractions were and I realized I had no idea so hubby and I started timing them. Suddenly I felt a small “pop” during a particularly intense contraction. The pain became so incredibly intense so fast i could hardly keep myself together. I threw up several times and was absolutely screaming my head off because of the pain. They checked me again and I had FINALLY dilated to 4 centimetres. The contraction did not end and the details past this point are a bit fuzzy.

I was really hoping to get through with just the morphine but the pain that came on from the Misoprostol was so much worse than I can explain. They offered the epidural and I said yes without hesitation. Getting the epidural was so scary because I was in so much pain that I really didn’t think I could stay still enough. I was certain I would be paralyzed. Somehow I was able to stay still and they did the epidural.

I was expecting the epidural to numb me from the waist down and not be able to move my legs or anything but actually I could still move my legs (not enough to walk even if I wanted to but I could reposition in the bed) and I could also still feel the contractions, just not nearly as intense. However after a little while I started feeling the contractions much more painfully on my left side so they repositioned me but it didn’t really work and the pain started getting much worse.

The nurse said she would top up the epidural with something much stronger, which helped immensely. However right after she did that the doctor came and checked me finally and said I was fully dilated and they could see my baby’s head! However the epidural top-off had made it so I couldn’t feel the contractions and so we decided to hold off pushing and let the contractions continue to move the baby downwards until I could feel enough to push.

I’m not sure how much later, maybe an hour or two, I was ready to push. Incredibly it only took a few pushes (10 minutes) and my baby girl was out! They placed her on my chest and the past 3+ days completely melted away and all I could think of was the perfect little girl I just delivered.

This birth did NOT go the way I hoped in any way. Even though I did not make a birth plan because I knew that this was not something I could plan, I still had obvious preferences and ways that I wanted it to go. I wanted to go into labour naturally and not be induced. I wanted to make it through without pain medication. I packed for a 2 day hospital stay, not a full week.

I am so happy to have a healthy baby, but it was honestly a traumatic experience and I just want to say that if your birth experience doesn’t go the way you wanted it to it’s okay to feel upset about it and talk about it. And hopefully find some closure and move on from it to enjoy your new baby.