I’m so scared and exhausted

I know you’re all tired of people complaining because we’re all in the same boat and all want a baby. But it’s so hard!! I’ve had 2 chemical pregnancies and really want my rainbow baby. I’m genuinely scared to get my period because I don’t know if I can handle it. I’ve tried OPKs and preseed this month. I’m approaching a year ttc and that will kill me!! I’m young I have no idea why this isn’t happening. I used preseed 4 times during my fertile window and I’m waiting. I just know it’s not foing to happen..