so I've been super depressed since 4th grade and I am now a junior in high school. my parents found out about my depression through my doctor in 7th grade. they didn't do anything about it. the next year my doctor told them it was getting worse so they took me to see a therapist. the therapist told me I had anxiety and depression but didn't really do anything about it. I stopped seeing her after 8 sessions because my mom made me feel bad about wasting money on a therapist. so I told her I was fine and I was better. well I lied because I've been suicidal ever since. I'm overweight and have been starving myself. my parents are always commenting on my weight and how I need to lose weight. my dad literally told me I could go for a few days without eating because my body would just use the stored fat to survive. my mom is verbally abusive towards me. she's always calling me a retarded and making me feel bad about everything. one time I had 4 panic attacks in one day and she told me I was just overreacting. cut to now, I'm suicidal, I cut my stomach, I have a job, do theatre, have straight B's in school, and I play sports. I'm extremely stressed but I would rather be stressed doing all that than having to spend time at home. I told my dad I was depressed and he just laughed and said "no you aren't" he also told me that once I lose weight and become skinny that I won't be sad anymore. I asked for a better therapist and he made me feel bad about it. then he started screaming at me. he would yell "IF YOU WANT A FU**ING THERAPIST ILL GET YOU A GO**AMN THERAPIST" that was about 2 months ago and he always asks if I'm still walking on the treadmill but he hasn't even looked for a therapist. I want to move out but I don't make enough money at my job to do anything. I just want to die. what should I do?