So I have been battling depression for ten years and my oldest kid is 9.5 years old and I feel like we used to be so close and now we are so far apart. My depression is bad like bad enough to were I’ve had really bad thoughts of hurting myself. Well there are so many things going on in my life that I just need to vent and talk to someone but I can’t talk to my family about because they all just tell me to put a smile on and don’t think about it..... but honestly things got so bad because in April of this year my husband told me he had several affairs. Not with the same woman but with different ones and it started when we were engaged and then continued from then on and mind you we both came into this relationship with a child and then had two kids together. Since then I have been bitter and angry with him and sadly my kids behavior changed as well my oldest son became angry too and I don’t blame him because his birth father left him and decided our son was better off without him which was not true at all but his stupid ass left because he couldn’t stand the fact that I moved on from his ass and didn’t want to be with him because he was just tagging me alone for his stupid ride he was too chicken shit to marry me but yet he would take me to ring stores and make me believe that he was ready to settle down... so I moved on and then I met my husband. Not only that but my husbands baby mama is a piece of shit too, she dumbed her daughter on us and said she couldn’t handle her and goes back n forth on when she wants her and then has a another kids to just leave her daughter in the shadow as she showers the baby in love she completely neglects the girl😒 I take care of her daughter as my own but it pisses me off the way she treats us and for all the help we have given her I can honestly say I won’t be sad if my husbands baby mama does one less fucking dead beat parent. I’m sorry if that offends anyone but I have had such a shitty time with both the other parent and they don’t deserve the kids at all! I feel like this whole experience has turned me into a monster! I hate my life and I don’t want to feel this way I started yesterday by going to a therapist and getting back on meds because I know I need help. I’m stuck living at my parents house which is shitty to begin with. I’m glad they took us in but it sucks because this isn’t where I thought I’d ever be! I hate living with my parents they treat me like I’m a kids again in their house and it is so hard to parent with someone who treats you like a kids and tells you in front of your kids that you have chores to do🤬 I’ve noticed that I’ve been fight against everyone, I hate everyone and thing... the saddest part is I don’t want to be this way I used to be happy and loving and caring and I’m not close to feeling like that... I just want to know that I’m not the only one that I’m not psycho for feeling this way that things will get better. Sorry for this rant I just needed a place to vent