Having a hard time with the holidays

Normally I love Christmas but this year has been very difficult. Seven months ago my oldest daughter Emma died from a bad sickness. She was four years old and its like a huge part of my soul was just ripped away from me. Every time I see anything to do with minions, frozen, shimmer and shine my heart sinks. She was almost always a happy little girl that loved to sing and dance to her favorite Disney songs. She loved bubbles and building with blocks . Even though she was non verbal autistic and had a hard time communicating She always had such a joy about her. I remember last year after I put up the tree it was tradition that I would let Emmy stay up until I plugged in the Christmas lights She would dance and squeal as the strand of multi color lights slowly flashed and would clap her hands giggling. At the same time I have a 7 month old daughter Jocelyn and this is her first Christmas. I want it to be so special with the tree and lights presents and Christmas music the whole nine. All the while my heart is so heavy and I don't want to let my grief destroy her firstChristmas. I try so hard to be strong so Jocelyn has a happy life because She is so loved and so precious and I don't want her to remember a sad momma. I feel like the strand of strength is breaking all at the wrong time. Anybody else been thru. this if so how did You deal with it best?