So.....I’ve been with my SO for 8 years. Over this period he has been living with me. He has been separated from his first wife but never divorced. I saw papers and divorce was supposed to be almost final. We looked at rings, we started trying. Tonight he was going to tell his soon to be ex about the baby. Well....that blew up. I got horrible texts from her about being a home wrecker and having a bastard child and that while he was misguided, I was the really sick and evil one. That from now on I should only contact him through their attorney, on and on.

So I’m blown away, did this man really agree to try to have a baby with me when he was not even separated from his current wife? I mean, I’ve met his parents. Why would they even meet me?

He is now with her as they are discussing their other children and what they will do about them.

I am caught so off guard, I’m heartbroken for my baby boy. I’m stressed and my heart is going a mile a minute.

I think I am going to tell him, assuming we ever speak again, that unless he shows up with legal signed divorce papers that I want nothing from him except child support.

Please tell me I can do this alone!

And I don’t need anyone hating on me. I knew he was technically still married but I still don’t understand how he could live with me and have her still think they were in a marriage. I mean, where did she think he was all the time? It’s blowing my mind. I know I’m in the wrong here too. I accept that, but really he is the wrong one. And I’m so mad that she is blaming me when he is the sick twisted one who did all of this.

Update! So I didn’t hear from him for a long time. Apparently he never changed his phone plan and she had complete control of the account. So she blocked incoming and outgoing calls to my number bc she was so angry that he was texting with me during their conversation. She sent the texts just to hurt me and in her head this is now some kind of a competition of her vs me and who wins. He got a burner phone until he can sort out a new phone plan so we are back in communication and it sounds like he wasn’t lying. He’s just worried about her poisoning his kids against him and so he’s dealing with the fallout of her crazy. I’m hoping the divorce is final soon so I can feel confident in putting this behind us.