I don’t normally make posts, but I could really use some support and advice right now.
My MIL used to be totally fine. My husband and I dated for 6 years before getting married this past May. We had gotten engaged March of last year. This year, in April to be exact, I found out I was expecting! So yes, now I’m 38w pregnant. My husband and I are both young, 22 and 23. We graduated college this year but we own our own home and cars, pay our own bills, and my husband has a great job as a high school teacher. I’m also a teacher but we decided I should take the school year off to have/be with our daughter for the first 6 months of her life. I understand this is a privilege, not a right in today’s society and am grateful for such a supportive husband who wants the best for me and his daughter. Being a SAHM isn’t everyone’s dream but for me, it means the chance to bond with my babygirl and breastfeed her (which I am so excited about).
Now to the good stuff!
Things my MIL has said about me just this past week:
I got pregnant on purpose to trap my now-husband. (Check the timeline above. Lol)
I got pregnant so I didn’t have to work (not really her business since she has no part in our finances.)
My timeline doesn’t add up. Apparently
I told her I was due November 23 and now my due date is December 25. Hmm. Just don’t recall that. I have papers from my first scan that say my due date is December 24th so maybe she’s confused?
For someone to be on birth control for 6 years and all of the sudden to just get pregnant on “accident” is not believable (again, her business? I think not..also, would love to add here- how does she know my birth control info and health history? She doesn’t.)
Also, I’m hateful, lazy, and passive-aggressive.
In the beginning of my pregnancy, she tried the whole “your husband cheats on you and you cheat on him” thing and my husband and I both laughed that off so she had to come up with something else.
Oh! And she called once to ask, “didn’t DH used to make fun of your big nose in school?” .....how nice.
One more! This hurt my husband a lot. I had a very positive pregnancy test in the beginning and an unknown LMP because I was on BC...so at an emergency room visit because I was having a lot of spotting around 12 weeks, they thought I had a miscarriage. We told his parents that and she was happy. (Turns out I didn’t have a MC. Whoops. My bad?....)
About every week she throws a huge fit on me and my husband. It’s not just us, though. She tries to control everyone around her and for that reason really has a sad, miserable, dramatic life. She won’t say anything to my face. She texts these huge paragraph long texts, usually at 3 a.m., about everything we’ve ever done to her and how irresponsible we are and mean we are to her. I wish she would say some of these things to my face. No, not so I can fight her (lol) but I would really like to address some of her concerns about me.
My husband takes up for me. He tells her not to talk about me. We are both very respectful and non confrontational and I can’t imagine telling someone off or my sweet husband doing that either but I’m fed up.
We live ten hours away from any family we have and chose from the beginning (and made it heard) that we wanted to be alone when we had our baby and wanted time to bond with her for a month or two before having visitors. It’s a perfect due date because my husband will be on his winter vacation from school. I know FTMs are usually excited to have help and lots of people around but that’s just not us. We are so happy with each other and have been forever! (We’ve been best friends since second grade.) Of course, if I need or want help/visitors, I would call our parents first.
She’s taking it personally and being very mean to us about it. Last night, she told my husband, “I hope your daughter treats you like you treat me”, which I think is funny because that’s not even an insult. Idk how he puts up with her bullshit.
I won’t be bullied into having someone hovering outside the deliver room waiting to snatch my baby up five minutes after she’s born.
Some quick facts:
My husband is 100% on board with me.
She bought everything on our baby registry so I feel strange about setting boundaries (while she is the most mean person I’ve met, she’s also the most generous but those two things don’t cancel each other out. I can’t be someone’s emotional punching bag because she buys things.)
He’s an only child.
She smokes pot (not to start anything and I don’t want to have to post this in controversy corner but my husband and I don’t even drink and don’t respect her for suddenly (within two months) starting to smoke pot all the time. My thing is, you can’t tell me you do drugs and want to be around/alone with my daughter. (I say drugs, I know all the hype around marijuana but in my mind it’s still not legal, so why do it? My motto about everything is, you do you and I’ll do me. Usually this works great, but she has tried to convince me it’s “not that bad” and it makes me very uncomfortable.)
So that’s that. I am under so much stress with all of this. I just wanted to make sure I’m not completely overreacting. I just want to be alone with my husband and daughter for a couple months. My husband works so hard and his own mom treats him like crap. I think most of my anger comes from her being so mean to him.
I feel like protecting my daughter and cutting her off completely but I’m not sure how and am made to feel unappreciative for taking up for myself (not like I can, she hangs up like a two-year-old.)
Sorry it was so long. Birth story to come! Lol I’ve been having lots of contractions!!