This has nothing to do with my boyfriend but more so to do with me - I can’t physically bring myself to tell him what I want in bed. When we’re in the middle of it, I can’t bring myself to tell him to go slower or keep an angle - I want him to feel good about himself, and I feel like I’ll hurt his feelings if I don’t just let him do his thing.

He’s also had much more sexual experience than me, and while he’s sort-of listened to how much I want lots of foreplay and sexy lead-ins, he’s only halfway committed - I have no problem being wet, but GETTING wet is another thing entirely. We’ve had some times where his boner will die or he’ll be unable to cum, and I get so swept up in worrying that won’t happen that I don’t want to “ruin the mood” or mess things up.

Sex is always fun and I love helping him get off, but I haven’t cum for a while - and I’d like to! Most often, I’m dry when he goes to stick it in, and he’ll spit on me to get me wet and that makes me even more uncomfortable; if I’m dry, I’m not turned on, and I thought he understood that. That, or he’ll just carry on and make me feel worse.

How do I bring all this up without hurting him? I feel a little degraded regarding sex with him (ie. I’m on birth control, he joked that I should use an enema if we ever did anal, my pussy smell is a constant discussion [I ask, tbf] and he just gets Compliments Compliments Compliments). I know its not smart of me to do that, but I don’t want him to feel bad - I’m very empathetic, and yknow... just... blah