So I need to give you a bit of back story before I tell you why my feelings are hurt. So, this is my third baby. He or she is a rainbow baby after having a miscarriage in April/May at 9 weeks along. I am so excited and feel so blessed to be pregnant and bringing another baby into this world because I thought I was done having babies after my son was born in 2013. Of course, I also thought I would be with my ex for a lifetime as we were together for 15 years (married for 12) and have a seven year old little girl and a 4 year old little boy together. But God had other plans for sure and I was finally open eyed to the infidelity, lies, and psychological abuse I had lived with for the past 15 years.

They say you really get to know someone when you experience sickness, grief, or poverty and I'm here to tell you that NOT every man is meant to be able to handle a wife who is sick or depressed (or depressed because of a chronic illness). After my son was born and I became very ill with first what they called fibro, then RA, and finally found a chiari malformation in my brain, my narcissistic ex became very hateful, vindictive, and all out psychologically abusive to me.

So the past few years have been an absolute roller coaster and once my ex and I separated and I was away from the abuse, I was able to see what was being done to me!! I was also able to find my God, myself, and my value and worth in the past year and a half and once I did that, God placed an amazing, Godly man in my life who not only loves and respects me but loves my babies like his own!!! In the short year we've been together, my fiancé and I have been through dealing with my narcissistic ex and the messy divorce my ex tried to create (God walked us right through the fire), a vengeful and hateful ex mil who tried to take the house out from under myself and my babies (yes, her grandchildren), a very scary diagnosis, a pregnancy and then grieving through the loss of that baby, death of family members, a hurricane, and the loss of my photography studio (my livelihood) to the hurricane. During all those scary and rough things, he has been my helpmate, my best friend, a father to my children, a spiritual leader for our family, and has taken such great care of me through this high risk pregnancy!!

My family and friends are all so happy to see me with someone who loves and values me and have been thrilled for us as we await our rainbow baby! So my mom, his mom, and I worked on planning the baby shower for this past weekend when my kids would be with me (they go with their father 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekends) so we could have a big family friendly shower. We had a bounce house for the kids and sports stuff planned for the guys and baby shower traditions for the ladies. I made homemade, from scratch gumbo and had a special cake made. We decorated with rainbows and even though the day before the shower I was hit with a major migraine headache, I still woke up the next day so thrilled and excited!!

The shower was from 2pm-4pm and within that time frame I had ONE friend show up for the shower!! My mom was there, my fiancé was there, his mom was there, my niece and my kids were there, and my one friend (my amazing massage therapist) and then my brother's girlfriend showers up with her two young kids at around 3:30 (my brother's son was playing in a baseball tournament and my brother is the coach so he couldn't be there). Y'all, I was absolutely sooooo hurt and embarrassed 😩 I realize that this is a third baby, but I am starting all over again and this baby is so very special and I had ONE person who wasn't family who came to celebrate this little love?! I'm still in tears when I type it out. I shower my friends when they have babies and I'm a giving and caring person and am always the one who goes to the baby showers and takes part in the celebration. Am I being ridiculous because my feelings are hurt? Am I just being emotional?!