When did it feel real or better? Really struggling 😔

This whole pregnancy so far (I am 10 weeks) I have been very unsure and emotional, no matter what I am having this baby and will love it more than anything else, but I've been feeling so disconnected, I feel as if the baby isn't real and to be quite honest, most of me wishes it wasn't. It just feels like a dream I can't wake up from. I wasn't prepared for this and just feel as if it can't possibly work out.

This whole time I read and expected seeing the baby to change things, but sitting in the room and even after I felt and feel completely emotionless about it. Is this normal? Am I ever going to feel different or am I going to be like this throughout my whole pregnancy? When do most feel more connected to their baby, when it feels real, cause I'm really struggling. 😪