Opinions please??

Question

I just need some opinions and to hear from people I don't know that I'm doing the right thing.  
OK, so..when my husband and I got divorced back in 2012 in our county you have to take a parenting class or you lose all rights and get a paper from the judge stating so.  I took mine my ex husband did not.  So he lost all rights, no visitation or anything.  And was court ordered to pay child support.  Ok, he still hasn't taken the class,and stopped paying child support last July and is behind about $6,000..But.. I have never let either of those stop me from letting my child go see his father.  We do have a court hearing coming up for child support. But now, I recently found out that his new wife was arrested for selling drugs. (mind you I know for a fact she smokes pot and failed her drug test with dhr last year)  She goes to court in September for it, she tried to tell me they dismissed it all and she only has to go back to court for paper work. No, I found out from 2 very very reliable sources that this isn't over, they have evidence on her and aren't throwing it out.  So I told my ex husband he can still see our child,but not in the state he moved too. He will need to come here every other weekend to his parents house to see him. So she can be supervised if he wants to see him.  Well, they both are furious at me and say I'm crazy and I'm doing everything I can to keep my child away from them.  I honestly think ive done nothing but be lenient with them. I haven't had to let him see him at all.  But I did.  And now this and I'm still willing to let him see him, just on my terms.  Someone please tell me I am doing what's right for my child?  That I'm not just being some crazy person overreacting? What would you do in my situation?

Answer

You obviously are putting your son first, which means you're doing the right thing.  Your instincts to keep him safe can only be admired.  He doesn't get to call you those things, because he's the one who couldn't be bothered to take the parenting class, even though it meant not seeing your son.  Also, he chose to be with an unstable woman. If he finds nothing wrong with exposing your son to that, then he's further proving to you that your child doesn't come first to him.

Answer

I would do the same. It's what's best for your child. You are not keeping your child from his father, you are keeping him safe. Think about this: If your ex and his SO were to get raided by the police and your son is in his care ( and considering he is another state and he doesn't have custody) and you allow him in that situation, child protective sevices will take your son and it will very hard gor you to get gim back. Though some states are different in their laws it doesn't look like you are willing to risk that. If your ex wants to see him, he will understand and make the effort. Better to be safe and wait to see if this all blows over. Rest easy, you're doing the right thing.

Answer

Wow, this is a tough one. I would probably cut off all visitations just to be safe bc in the news your almost always hearing about the stepparent or not the biological parent of the child doing some sick shit to the child out of spite or whatever. So until ole' girl can kick that drug habit, I wouldn't let the little one go over there. Maybe a movie or to the mall (some where public) but not sleeping over...... Just my opinion

Answer

I think you are completely right. Your main priority is your child's safety and happiness. You put aside your issues with the parenting class, the child support and I'm sure there was probably other stuff as well, so that your child could could spend time with the father. I'd be so annoyed thinking that he allowed these sort of things happen around your child. That could implement you. If you knowingly allowed your child around that type of behaviour you yourself could get into trouble. Thankful your child has one intelligent, adult parent.

Answer

I honestly would do the same thing you are doing.  If she is doing drugs then she doesn't need to be around the child. Don't mind what they are saying you just keep doing what you think is best for your child.

Answer

I would be doing the same thing! Honestly I would tell your ex he has two choices, do what you're asking or not see his child. It's for the safety of the kid! And you have no legal obligation to let him see the child.

Answer

You are doing the right thing. Sounds like he's trying to use a guilt trip to manipulate you!

Answer

My father did the same thing when I was a kid. He got really mad and made a big scene hoping my mom would change her mind. She stayed strong and told him it was her way or nothing. After about a month or two he caved and agreed to her rules. I respect my mom so much for what she did and keeping me away from what he was involved with. He is eventually going to have to decide where his priorities lie. It's his choice to do it the hard way. You are a great mom! Your kid/s will respect you more for it when they are old enough to fully understand what was going on at the time.

Opinions please??

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