Christmas wish

Update: Just started my period. 😭 so not feeling it today. maybe next month. Thank you for the baby dust and prayers. 😭 ok ladies I just need to vent. My husband and I have been ttc for over 2 years now. I have been checked by my doctor and gynecologist and they don't see any reason that I can't conceive. We are at the point they want to test my husband. We plan to make this appointment once things calm down from Christmas. My husband is a cover driver for UPS so he is working a lot right now. Unfortunately he is only part time in off season so after Christmas we don't know how much he will work. Anyway, I have been praying and hoping that for Christmas this year he will get on full time and we will get pregnant. Yesterday I started spotting. :( I am still only spotting so that hope is still there and it is driving me crazy. Every month I start to think maybe this is the month. Every month I get my period. I start analyzing every symptom trying to decide if anything is different. As soon as I get my period my heart breaks again. I am dreading it this time. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I just really needed to vent today. If you want to comment with your Christmas wishes I'll say a prayer for you all.