I am finally getting around to telling my birth story. I remember reading these in the final stretch of pregnancy and feeling somehow more prepared - so I figured it would be helpful to share my story.

Tuesday night before my due date (Saturday), right before bed, I noticed an unusual clump (very small) of pink tinted discharge when I went to the bathroom. It was not liquid-y or similar to other discharge. I knew this was from my cervix and part of my “plug.” Since I had had false alarms before, I didn’t really do anything about it and figured my body would tell me if I was in labor. That said, I took Wednesday off just in case. All day on Wednesday, I felt very off ... flu like almost. Very very low energy, really irritable mood, a bit shorter in breath and all around just sort of crappy. I knew something was different and kept trying to convince my husband to come home from the office. I finally convinced him to come home and, instead of going to labor and delivery, we were able to get an appointment with a midwife (I was in the obgyn program but had access to midwives as well). The midwife did not check my cervix (I chickened our and heard this was uncomfortable), but she listened to my symptoms, took my vitals, and felt the positioning etc. she said baby would be coming soon but soon could be a day or a week. We left the appointment, grabbed a big salad at Whole foods, then headed home. After I ate my salad, I was watching TV and started to feel contractions. I didn’t panic because I had been having contractions over the prior few weeks. I went upstairs and got ready for bed. About an hour later, I realized that the contractions were sort of coming and going. This was different than my BH contractions which seemed to just come and stay for an hour or two. I quickly downloaded an app and began timing the contractions - but I still felt like I was being overly analytical about it. The contractions at this point did not hurt - just felt like a squeezing sensation. As the next couple of hours went by, the contractions became more rhythmic, but not precisely timed either. They would just stop and start irregularly. Finally, at around 3 am, the contractions became painful (very mild pain like period cramps). I called the on call obgyn and she told me not to come in until contractions were 1-2 min apart. I felt annoyed because another doctor had told me 5 min apart, you should go in. The fear of going to the hospital only to be sent home kept me from going in until finally, around 5:45am I was having more pain and just told my husband that we needed to go now. On our way to the hospital, I felt okay but when a contraction would hit - I would have to squeeze something. I still wasn’t in debilitating pain - just strong period like cramps that came and went. After we parked the car in the hospital garage, and I was waiting for my husband at the elevator of the garage, I felt my first “serious” labor pain and was very eager to get to L&D.;

The walk across the street felt difficult and, when we arrived to L&D;, they had us fill out forms. I could NOT fill out the forms because of my pain. It seemed to take forever to get from “forms at desk” to “triage” although I’m sure it wasn’t long. Once we got back to triage (which is basically a big open area with beds and monitors sectioned off by curtains) - a nurse hooked me up to a non stress test (measuring fetal heart rate and contractions). The position I was in for the NSTnwas VERY uncomfortable and I kept telling my husband to get a doctor. Finally a new nurse came in and, reading the NST results, became very urgent. She also helped with contraction pain by having me stand up and, when a contraction hit, she would apply pressure on my hip bones and lower back. This helped A LOT and she showed my husband how to do this. A doctor came in to check my cervix and - surprise! 6cm dilated! As they were moving me to a room, I told the nurse to go ahead and get an anesthesiologist for the epidural stat. Anesthesiologist came in, walked me through the epidural and, with the help of my new nurse (who had me focus on her and grabbed my shoulders), I got through the epidural pretty easily. No real pain but strange clicking feeling that made me a bit jumpy. Out of no where, I became veryndizzy and nauseated. I told someone to get a bucket bc Inwas sure I would puke. The doctor saw my blood pressure and heart rate and realize I was having a Vaso vagal (sp?) reaction - so they ad I ushered some sort of medication to counteract this (forgot to mention that the nurse had already placed a pic line on the top of my hand). Once the reaction had fixed, the epidural started working and I was able to take a nap. However, I slept mostly on my right side with the peanut ball between my legs and I think the nurse was supposed to flip me. As a result, I started feeling pain and more sensations in the left side of my tummy. I spent the next several hours trying to get the doctors to correct this but it never fully corrected. Sometime in the late afternoon, the doctor realized I had stopped progressing (was only at 7ish/8ish for a while), so she broke my water. I didn’t feel pain from this but it was a weird “prodding” sensation. After my water broke, I stared to feel a lot more (still don’t know if this was normal or was due to worn off epidural). Hours pass and finally, after not seeing a doctor for a while and trying to get the pain managed, the doctors (two residents and an attending) came in and told me I was 10cm. Then they straight up LEFT ME for like 30 minutes so that I could progress before pushing. This was VEY frustrating because I thought 10 cm meant automatic pushing. Finally - after anLONG wait, I told my nurse I was ready to push. So she was like “okay push when you ha e acontraction and I was like “yeah you need to tell me when I’m having one and tell me how to push.” First half of pushing was with the nurse only - pushing felt good because it was one step closer to being finished. After about 10-15 min of pushing, the doctor’s were called in and continued to help me push. Everyone was yelling things like “harder this time” and “great job” and “I see his head keep pushing” - these things helped me feel like I was making progress and almost finished. When I gave my final push - everything happened fast and they placed him on me for skin to skin. This was very weird and foreign to me and I felt bad for not crying or if happiness or feeling relieved. Instead, there was more pushing on my tummy and stitching going on. Once the doctors had finished delivering my placenta and closing up my small tear, it was a bit of a blur. More nurses came in, my in laws came in, shits were given to the baby, and I was shown how to breastfeed.

What NO ONE told me was that the first night in the hospital is scary! They are basically like “here is your baby, feed him every two hours.” Like what? We had no clue how to care for him. The nurses were hit or miss -

Some being very helpful and kind and others more “inconvenienced” - also the post delivery crotch pain is real and I felt very blob like for a good week. It does get better and easier but that first week or two after delivery is SCARY, painful, and exhausting.

We are at the two month mark now and it’s gotten much better. Still working on getting enough seller most days though :)