Rant.

I can’t do it anymore. Every day for me is a struggle to get out of bed, and quite frankly I’m sick of faking a smile to everyone. I’m 15, so my GCSEs are approaching around May and I’m worrying like crazy about them. I have ocd and it really affects my school work as if something in my books isn’t neat enough, I will rip the page out and re-do it until it looks good enough. This impacts how much time I have on revision too, as my brain says that this is more important. I’ve not been sleeping properly (even though I’m tired all the time) and I’ve not been eating the same either. My mum says my attitude has changed too. I failed my GCSE mock exams (I got a U in maths) and my maths teacher is concerned about me. I don’t want to speak to my Mum or any other family member because there’s too much going on at home. I also can’t go to a doctor because I’m already on the waiting list. I can’t really speak to anyone at school because my head of year is going on maternity leave soon and I don’t want to stress her out and I don’t find it easy to speak to the person who’s due to take her place. I don’t know who to turn to, and I feel like I just want to give up and die. Please help me. I want to remain anonymous so if you ask questions in the comments I’ll just edit this with the answer.