Depressed

I had a missed miscarriage last week... I’m 38 and it was my first pregnancy . Got married late in life and we only just started actively trying in august of this year... three months later to my surprise I was pregnant- and very happy.... first ultrasound was scheduled for December 12 at 9 weeks- baby had no heartbeat and measured at 8 weeks... I had a DNC three days ago and am healing fine with some light spotting. Not really sure where to go from here. My husband seems ok and is not affected as me, he said it’s the cycle of life and is common which yes, is true, my doctor said the same thing. I’m still depressed though and starting to think maybe I’m just not meant to be a mother. I had thought about so many things while pregnant and was so excited I just don’t understand why or how this could happen, I have no health issues. I want to try again sooner rather than later but am paranoid. I don’t wanna start all over again, I just feel very sad right now, especially with the holidays around the corner.