Hey lovely ladies! I need your opinions.

So, my husband and I have been going through a dry spell. We haven't had sex in 5 months. I've tried everything to rekindle the flame. (Massages, bringing him ice packs when he's in pain, sexy showers, bubble baths, surprise blowjobs, candles, EVERYTHING.)

Backstory: He has a varicocele (varicose vein in in groin), so he's in pain every day & he has trouble performing. I know he's not cheating, but the varicocele is hurting his libido. He won't touch me anymore. I'm trying to be patient. Truly. I've tried everything.

BUT, I'm so horny. I went online, and bought a vibrator. And now he's mad at me. I explained that we haven't had sex in 5 months, and I need some relief.

I would never cheat on him, so this is my way of relieving my sexual frustration. He says he's not mad at me, rather he's mad at himself that he's quote "failed as a husband". I never said he's failed. He says he's mad at himself, but he won't talk to me now. It seems like he's mad at me.

I just need some relief. Am I in the wrong?

Any opinions would be appreciated!