Is it creepy when someone says they're "not being creepy?"

Question

So this has happened to me more than once. A guy would stare at me and like "Sorry I'm not being creepy, I'm just staring at you because (insert reason here)" .... and I mean it's a hairdresser or a makeup artist. I know you're just staring at my face because you're actually painting it.

Someone who was tailoring my dress was like "Sorry I don't mean to accidentally touch you" then turns to someone else and goes "you have to be careful not to do anything that might someone think you're sexually harassing them"....Im like okay uh...it's kinda necessary to touch me while tailoring a dress....I didn't think you were...well NOW I do, but I didn't BEFORE.

Can I take your photo? Nothing creepy I just love your hair.

Is it okay if I hug you? I don't mean to seem creepy It's just that you're crying...whyyyyy??

So I guess first of all, when did any and all mention of the male sex drive become "creepy?" I haven't been a virgin in umpteen thousand years. I'm easily able to understand that someone can be sexually attracted to me without raping and murdering me and leaving my body by the side of the road.

I know that he can ask, and I can say no, and we can both be fine with that. 95% of the guys I meet are capable.

....but when he has to say "I'm not being creepy"...I can't help but think he might be thinking of murdering me. Especially when he mentions overly specific scenarios or tells me he's "glad I'm not the kind of girl who is bothered by that".....😩😑😡

Accepted Answer

Well now I know not to tell my victims that I’m not trying to be creepy before murdering them, thanks for the advice.

Answer

I think in today’s climate, I’d rather a man be a bit over explanatory than risk stepping over the line.

Answer

In my experience the only people who make a point of saying “I’m not being creepy” are people who are being very obviously creepy. If someone is staring because of non-creepy reasons they usually just say so if they get caught staring without mention of creepiness. And it’s not exclusive to men so I wouldn’t say it’s about the male sex drive at all.
BUT that’s just my experience 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I say shit like that all the time. Like, a lady came into my store and she was just very beautiful, so I said something along the lines of, I'm not trying to be weird, but you are gorgeous, do you model? I guess what I think is a compliment, makes me a creeper...

Answer

I think I kind of get what you’re saying, but if usually rather someone give a polite explanation (even a shit one) for why they’re doing something creepy than to just do it without any concern for how I might feel about it.

Answer

It’s pretty creepy to have a stranger stare at you intensely for too long or to have someone you don’t know well take a photo of you without permission.

Answer

I feel like if they need to state they’re not being creepy, it’s probably creepy. It goes along the same lines as when people say things like “I’m not racist/sexist, butttt...(says something racist/sexist)”

Answer

Idk, I unintentionally stare at people sometimes. I'm not doing it because I'm being creepy, at least that's definitely not my intention. Usually my mind is thinking about something else totally different. 
I don't know why someone who says they accidentally touched you would make you assume they did it on purpose. Being accused of sexual harassment these days is getting increasingly common, and no one wants the social repercussions of being accused of sexual harassment over an accidental touch. So it's better he addressed it immediately.

Answer

I don’t really think it’s creepy if they have a good reason for doing whatever they are doing. Like “Not being creepy, but I’m just staring cause I love your hair”. That’s not creepy. But like, “Not to be creepy, but I’m staring at you cause I wanna fuck you.” That’s creepy.

Answer

It's like saying "I don't want to offend you, BUT...." or "I'm sorry, BUT...." saying a thing doesn't make it less creepy or allowed or any better.

Is it creepy when someone says they're "not being creepy?"

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