I had an affair on my boyfriend at the time , we then got engaged and he is now my husband. During the time I cheated with two guys on and off during our relationship. During that time I fell deeply in love with my husband, but could not stop with the others until I was early into the months of our marriage. I finally told my husband the full truth about the affair and he stayed . Even though we fussed and fought fir last two years. He now can’t trust me and has lost all sexual desire with me. He has forgiven but does not forget. He has in in his mind now that in order for him to get over the fact I cheated for so many years and did not stop when he begged me too, he wants to do the same thing on me while I play the good wife like he was the good man to me. In some way I feel I deserve what he does, but in other ways I’m sick to my stomach to know he is going to have sex with other females until he gets tired just like I did him. We are still married, and I over my husband to the core and can’t be without him. But can we ever get past my past indiscretions and work through this to get better? Or should I just bow out gracefully and let him move on to another woman he feels will benefit him more? And he didn’t cheat on me but he did lie about speaking to other females behind my back and and still having some ties to his old girlfriend. I need advice cause I don’t want to walk away from my marriage. I know what I did to hurt my husband but I want to fix all of this to move forward with our lives together. 😔