Today I’m 12dpo (give or take a day) and spotting has started 😞 I’m so devastated.

Back story: we BD every other day, used preseed + got my positive opk “late” for me, on cd 17, for cramping like ovulation on CD 20 so I just said ovulated CD19 to put myself in the middle.

I started with low back ache and discomfort + tender/sensitive nipples from 7dpo till even now. But last night I started getting dull cramping then later when I wiped I had a brown tint to my cm, now this morning it has turned to light brown spotting. I know it “could” be implantation but what discourages me is I always spot 2-3 days before actually starting and I always hope that maybe some how this time will be different.

It’s just so frustration because I don’t get low back pain or discomfort before my period. Trust me I knoooow not to look at symptoms, I knoooow the only way to be sure is get a BFP, I knoooow that period symptoms are the same as pregnancy symptoms but this wasn’t just in my head. Bending over and all that by mid day my back was aching something awful everyday since 7dpo. If it had been 1 day or 2 days, ok maybe I pulled something, but I haven’t done anything different and it was every single day.

Sunday (sat around all day and it bugged me) Monday, then Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and even right now typing this and sitting in the chair I feel my low back bugging me. The sensitive nipples, ok it could just be something pre period that I never noticed but not the low back. And that’s the most frustrating part, getting a symptoms you never have and thinking “maybe this if finally it, maybe it’s finally our turn”

This is our 9 month trying. I know so many women have tried so much longer and all I can say is, your amazing. Because my heart breaks every single time a month passes and it’s a no.

My question is anyone who always had spotting before their period, got the same spotting and still got a BFP? even though I doubt that’s me 😞😞😞

I’m going to take my test in the morning regardless if the spotting gets more or not because A. I don’t want to play the normal game of “maybe I am maybe my period won’t come” and B. I’m sick of having that test sitting in my cabinet and every month hoping I get to take it. And planning in my mind when I’ll take it if spotting doesn’t come. And then when spotting comes thinking maybe it’ll spot and I’ll get to take it. I just want it gone.