Not what I imagined

So it’s Xmas eve and I’m crying in my room on our sons first Xmas. Not what I imagined. I just wanted to feel loved and connected to my husband again. I guess he has no interest.. only wants to play video games. Cant wait for my boy to wake up, he truly makes me happy. Should have just held him for his nap instead. Only time I dont feel empty is when I have him in my arms.