what is wrong with me?

Question

It's been a little over 3 weeks since Alannah was born. For some reason I don't have a connection with my daughter, I love her I just don't feel like she's mine. I feel like I'm babysitting? I hate that I never had that "oh my god! She's mine, I have a baby" moment with her.

Accepted Answer

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes it takes a little while longer for some moms to form a close bond with their baby. Especially if it’s your first child! 
However, I would say that sometimes it can be a symptom of postpartum depression. I definitely wouldn’t jump to any conclusions, but if you do start to feel or show any other signs or symptoms of pd, talk to your doctor sooner rather than later. 
Either way, whether it’s just taking you a little bit longer to get that close bond with your baby, or a possibility that you might have pd, don’t be ashamed mama! Both things are totally normal, and something you can and will overcome. 
You got this! ❤️

Answer

My daughter is 4 weeks and I still haven’t felt a connection. I feel love for her but no bond. I was hoping for that overwhelming feeling of love at birth but it didn’t come. I had a terrible delivery and even worse recovery... I even had to go back for more repairs down below at 3 weeks postpartum. I think it’s making things worse about all the life changes but doctor said give it 2 more weeks. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Answer

I felt like I was babysitting my daughter too at first! Like I was just waiting for the parents to come back from vacation or something. I totally understand what you mean! I’ve finally accepted that after a year she’s probably staying with me lol I love her so much! It’s so crazy to be a first time mom!

Answer

it's such a big change that happens so fast. I had a hard time transitioning between the bulge in my stomach and a baby in my arms. it can also be hard to feel squishy love when your exhausted. see if you feel a bit more close when you've gotten some more rest, and ask for help to get that rest if you need it.

Answer

I felt the exact same with my first child. It’s so much change at once and your hormones are crazy. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, not to be confused with the psychosis where you want to harm your child. I was just super depressed and I was struggling with so much change. No one prepares you for the emotions and true difficulty after birth. You expect you’ll have this major bond and you won’t mind waking up and it will be rainbows and butterflies and you’ll just be tired. Maybe it’s like that for some women but to others it’s a major life change that takes some getting used to. I found that once she started showing emotion we were able to connect and there is no doubt that we have that mother daughter bond it just took us a little longer.

Answer

My daughter is two and I still can't believe she's mine. I love her so much and I'm incredibly happy, I just still kind of feel like she's not mine. We have a great bond, haven't had any trouble with that, just a weird feeling I guess. Hopefully it'll eventually go away.

Answer

You pretty much just described what I've been feeling. I love my daughter and I think we have a great bond but I'm having a really hard time believing she's mine. I actually just said that it felt like I was just baby sitting to my husband the other day (she's 3 weeks) 
Your little one is adorable!

Answer

Give yourself a break- your exhausted & at this point it’s all work & little fun. Lol your babies get to be more & more fun as you go. It only gets better from here. Hang in there & don’t be so hard on yourself. I was so exhausted physically & emotionally that I don’t even remember any of when my daughter was that little.

Answer

As the others said, there’s nothing wrong with you.
My son is 9 weeks old and is our second; our other son is 5 years old. I could have gone back to work immediately, I just don’t care for the newborn stage. But now at about 9 weeks his smiles are starting and he’s getting more personality and I am loving it. 
Hang in there, the time will come when you start to form a bond. If you feel it is not, please seek additional help or counseling. There is nothing wrong with doing so!

Answer

I didn't really have that feeling for about 8-9 weeks... it just felt like I was taking care of someone else's child... I also had postpartum depression and anxiety so severe that I was driving my myself crazy... and I was super guilty coz she just wanted to be with me all the time and I didn't...  I think I got that connection around her 3rd month and now she is the light of my life... 
don't bash yourself... it will happen... we go through huge change hormonally and otherwise.. once those settle down you will get over this...

what is wrong with me?

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