6+years and I'm still fighting for a spot in his heart and agenda

no way

so no one's perfect and know i be been a jealous girlfriend and before he ever cheated on me I was worried he would so I'd search his phone from time to time and wud find sex sights plenty of.em.plenty of times messaging other girls etc... and then it finally happened he cheated and actually tried to leave me by disappearing on me well long story short we got back together to try to make it work a year later same time as last year's cheating shinagins he started doing the same thing no calls no texts no support from little shoulder to cry on or even to major important doc apts or family get togethers he's bailed out and then it happened he disappeared on me again. he went about little less then 2 weeks without a call or message and left me waiting for his arrival with a "I'm le

aving in 30min to head over" well we r talking now and still together after he says my possesiveness and always bugging him is the reason y. mind u all I do is maybe love to much..from good morning messages to notes on the mirror surprise bday party's etc... so I know to clingy can be a lil much annoying but I'm guilty of no doing to deserve such lack of attention from him . I know everyone says I deserve better to leave etc but for those of u know what it feels like to leave someone u live n don't want to leave. any advice how to cope or tricks to pull outta hat...or a miracle exit door I can take something anything I'm desperate