Irritated with my mom
With my first pregnancy I was induced at 40 weeks with pitocin because they were afraid he would be 13 lbs because of my diet controlled GD. Went for nearly 24 hours with absolutely no progression, until they finally broke my water and then the floodgates opened, 10 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing later and I finally had my baby boy. After he was born I tried my hardest to breastfeed, but he was very fussy and unhappy, and after having him home for 2 days I realized he was starving, so I started supplementing with formula. I tried EVERYTHING I could to increase my supply, I power pumped for an entire weekend and got 1/4oz from each breast each day. Total. So after about a month I went totally to formula.
My mom has been arguing with me lately about my being induced and wanting to basically skip the pitocin, because last time it didn't do anything for me, and move straight to breaking my water or trying other methods. She keeps telling me I can't make that decision and that my body will remember and all this stuff, and it's very irritating to me because I don't want the same thing to happen. At the very outside I would accept getting pitocin for a few hours, like 5 max, and if I don't progress then we have to move on to something else. She also keeps talking to me like she's going to force me to breastfeed and making comments that are kind of insinuating that I didn't try hard enough last time. First of all that's hurtful because I cried for weeks because I couldn't make myself produce more milk no matter what I tried, and I had horrid anxiety because of it, to the point where I feel physically and emotionally uncomfortable thinking of having a baby on my breast, but I will try to pump. I feel like I'm not emotionally strong enough to tell her how I'm feeling without just crying and yelling at her and breaking down, but it's really just hurting my feelings that she thinks she can talk to me like I'm a 12 year old and she's trying to make me clean my room, she thinks SHE will magically somehow do something to my boobs and make milk pour out of them, and that I can't make decisions about my own birth experience. I don't want to tell her to butt out completely because she is my mother and she is very supportive, but the things she is saying really are hurtful and I don't think she is even aware that what and how she's saying things are really hurting my feelings.
Sorry this was 8 miles long. Hopefully somebody gets through this and can give me some advice. Thanks all
Comment
Add Comment