Am I losng it?

I feel like I might be developing depression or sime mental illness. I can’t di life anymore. i cant hadle my two year old and people. I don’t want to see anyone or speak to anyone. Prior to this state I was a synonim of a strong lady - very sucessfull career, pretty, married, curently decorwting a big new apartment, grest husband and a beautiful toddler girl. But this year we lost our son at 6 months pregnant. I was strong trough that too. Went to therapy for 3 months, then went back to work stronger tha ever. And then this holidays came and I’m done. I am secretly taking antidepressants so I don’t lose iz. I don’t know what to do. I am afraid my dear husband will leave if I don’t get my act together, even though he is so mega nice, he can only take so much. I dont know what to do, really....