is he being a dick or no?

So, he makes twice as much as I do a month, he pays all the bills.i pay for our car,and food, house essentials. I always thought we were a whole, and not thinking of our money as a separate thing,as long as we worked together we were ok. well, I really have stressed Xmas, he's demanded these Oakley sunglasses for a long time, and I of course finally got them for him with some smaller items such as nice Cologne and trimmers.. along with ALL the presents we would be giving to our kids and families. I'm not one to ever throw fits about gifts. I grew up in the system. I have never had a Christmas. or gifts that I can remember. but when I am laying in bed at night rethinking his comments like..."don't expect any gifts from me, unless you want my to wrap up the electric bills for you with paid on it. " I don't have the kind of money to be spending on gifts for you when I pay almost ALL the fucking bill, (I didn't ask for anything..and never act like I deserve anything.) all the while making sure I know he better be getting his sunglasses,and a good dinner with his favorite foods.knowing I'm actually stressed financially now to make sure everyone has something from us.and food on the table.i just feel abused by him. he lashes out on me when I tell him it hurts my feelings he is so insensitive.tells me if I don't fucking like it I can get to stepping.i tell him it's not loving to talk to someone that way,and he says stuff like,get the fuck away from me,as I try to defuse and hug him.pushes me hard. and calls me nasty names. just last night I was having a dream I was being attacked.being stabbed in the back.and I guess I was squeezing him and jerking,and he woke me up yelling,get away from me fuck. and woke me up pushing me off of him .where I laid there and cried,because I was still so scared from the dream,and so sad that this is the man I have loved through so much,and yet I feel so small.i go to sleep at night silently crying,and wondering if this is my life..or if I will one day have a man who loves me like i him. I am always wondering if I am just too sensitive like he says..because ..who could be so cold to someone who loves him as much as I do. he breaks my heart everyday.and I end up saying sorry and trying harder. I'm so tired. and feel so worthless.