I need help

Imagine being so in love with someone, letting them take your virginity. To have them snapchatting their ex behind your back. I'm literally nothing. The fact he could easily talk with her behind my back knowing how much that'd kill me to hear. I am worthless I'm hurt I cant do this anymore. I have co dependency issues. Abdthis is so dumb but literally kills me and I can't feel like this it's fucking Christmas and I cant even tell him I know because of who told me. I'm gonna have to look through his phone and "find out" after the holidays. I can't do this anymkre. I am nothing