hi, so I've been with my husband since high school,on and off relationship till last year, we're both just before 26years and got married this year.. our relationship has been smooth nice, romantic, you name it, yes has its flaws like every other, but the biggest BAAASSSHHH Was when he got back together with his ex, from last year when we lives in seprlerate towns(not so serious relationship) I caught him, he apologized but begged me to please allow him to have us both, I felt disgusted, played, not loved, I compared myself so much to her, he saw how this was not sitting well with me and wasn't good for our relationship, so he ended IT in July as I went through his phone, and saw that he was distant yo her anfter a week called her they spoke for like 20 minutes and after wards she sent him a voice note, saying she's hurt, she will accept the break up, how it hurts hearing him say he wants to commit to me, how it hurt hearing him say he doesn't feel with her what he feels with me, in bed... long story cut short, he didnt tell me they broke up, i saw this when I was snooping a month later he sat me down apologized and told me its just me and him now, he will never put me through all that, and till today as we recently got. married after that incident, he has changed and I'd be lying if I said its an act. he is the best ever, but....

my insecurities are just bad, for some reason, I want to give this girl a chance with him, I know it will be hard for. me, but I don't know, maybe I want closure??? but in the wrong way.. we're an African couple, polygamy is very common this side, but I know my jealousy is very bad, I can't trust him even if he is out with his friends and I know the. location, he calls me every minute to update me where they are with his friends and doing what, but I still can't Stop obsessing over that woman, mind you, she has been into my bed, while we were living at a flat, before they broke up, I just feel like I want to get to know her, give her time with him, and for some odd reason I feel sorry for her..

in need of advise,

is it because I want to try out this sharing a guy thing? do I want closure? am I feeling sorry for her??

please try and understand where I'm coming from before bashing me with judgemental coments