I’m Stuck😭

Ok so most times I want to have sex with my friend with benefits just cause I’m very physically attracted to him and I can be myself around him. BUT I always stop myself cause I also want to save myself for someone I really care about and have a connection with. I’m damned if I have sex with my friend but I’m also damned if I don’t cause I miss out on a good opportunity to get some bomb D. Please help!!!