Christmas announcements

I know I should be happy for them. I’m glad they are pregnant. But I wish they hadn’t announced on Christmas. My younger brother just announced that he and his so are expecting. I have been trying with no luck. I’ve always wanted to be a mom. But for some reason I just have a gut feeling it won’t happen for me. It’s going to sound bad but when I was younger I spent a lot of years unprotected... and have no children. Maybe it’s crazy for me to think. But I wish I didn’t have to spend all of Christmas day holding back tears and getting drunk, sneaking away, to shed the ones I can’t hold in.