Loss my wife


I'm 39 years old. My Wife and I are separated due to my drug use. We lost our first child almost 4 years ago and our second 6 weeks after conception. I haven't seen or heard from her in 6months. I have this huge whole in my heart that I've tried to fill with drugs. I'm clean now and about to enter into a seminary type treatment but I miss her so terribly bad. I love her so much I just don't know what to do