Venting time

Hey Girls, as you guys can see from the title I’m here to vent to you guys today. I don’t have any friends to talk to because all of them have stabbed me in the back. Anyways ive been with my SO for almost 6 years we have 3 children together which he never spends anytime with. When he’s home, he usually goes in the garage from the time he wakes to TIL it’s time to go to sleep . He’s the type that smokes weed 24/7 and likes to play on his PS4 , when he’s not here he’s out with his friends and doesn’t come back home until 11 or 12 if I’m lucky if not til 1 or 2

I’m so FED up , I feel lonely in this relationship, I have no help with the kids I don’t get to go out by myself, everywhere I go my kids go . Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my children but sometimes one needs some alone time. I’ve tried talking to him about this and he says it’s something mothers do and to stop complaining. For Christmas he didn’t spend any time with us, for our second sons birthday he went out with one of his longtime friend , I guess they grew up together & didn’t spend any time with his son or buy him anything.. mind you he’s only 1. Sometimes I just wanna leave but because i stopped working to go back to school and become a nurse I have no income and no where to go. When it comes to me asking him for some money for my gas ONLY , i always gotta hear some shit before he gives me the money if he even gives it to me. Mind you I’m the one taking the kids to school and picking them up and dropping the little one at daycare. For almost 4 years I was the one working 2 jobs to pay the rent and put food on the table because he wouldn’t get hired anywhere he would apply like high paying jobs (mind you he dropped out in the 6thgrade) I was paying EVERYTHING, taking care of ALL our personal needs even giving him 20 every 2 weeks for his haircut taking the kids to school and sometimes picking them up if I could if not my mom would . But I can’t get gas money? I’m not the type that goes out to BS like I said earlier I have no friends , and I’m either at home or at school. I get told to go ask my mom for gas money sometimes or to go ask her for money when it comes to my personal hygiene like Shampoo , conditioner ,bar soap . I never once did him like that . Sometimes I ask myself why I’m still here if when he’s here at home he’s never giving us anytime, but he gives his friends all type of time. When I do try to leave he tries to beat up on me and verbally abuses me as well . I’ve tried applying for low income housing and affordable housing but a lot of there waitlist are closed if not I have a 4 to 5 waiting period , idk if I can last that long .