In all honesty do you ever regret having a second child?

Question

My husband and I are currently talking about trying for number two. I think I do want another most days, but I just can't get over how worried I am about it. My daughter is my everything (she is going to be 2) and I constantly question if I could ever love another like I love her. I can't get over the feeling like I would be betraying her or that she would be upset with me if a new baby came. I also have a fear of this next pregnancy being bad, something going wrong, with me or baby. I had an easy first pregnancy and my daughter is so perfect. I just feel like what if I'm not so lucky next time around. I hate thinking that way. It's such a difficult decision and I really don't know what to do. 😔

Answer

Your love won't be divided, it multiplies.

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I have a four month old and I’m now 9 weeks pregnant. I feel like this one is waayyy to soon but I can’t do much about it now. I hope the feelings change later on. I do feel overwhelmed and exhausted

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Nope you love all your kids if your over the moon for your first you’ll be over the moon for second or third like a mommas heart can love them all with no end (cheesy but true)

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I voted sometimes, but it’s really not fair for me to vote at all. You described every thought and feeling I myself have had about the decision to have a second child.  Aside from having to take medication to get pregnant and 16 weeks of horrendous morning sickness, I had a wonderful pregnancy/delivery/postpartum experience with our 18 month daughter. Sleeping, eating, happy disposition... she’s been an all around a blessing (even my daycare provider tells me and other moms that Leah is the easiest child she’s had in 20 years!). I am now pregnant with baby #2 and what finally made us decide to have another was ultimately about our daughter. I grew up as an only child and although I am thankful for all the opportunities that provided me with, it was also very lonely. I begged for a sibling as a child. I was fortunate to have cousins my age close by, but my daughter won’t have that. I know there’s no guarantee that siblings will be friends, or even like each other, but I do know that they’ll have each other. In the end, it’s a very personal decision that every family must make for itself. The good news is I don’t think there’s such a thing a wrong decision here. If you adore your daughter that much, I have no doubt your love will multiply should you chose to have a second child. :) I wish your family happiness in whatever you decide.

Answer

I’m 38 weeks pregnant with my second so I can’t really answer this question. But I will say before getting pregnant I had a lot of those same feelings. Even now I’m hoping to go long so that I have the most possible time with my son one on one. (Also I want the baby as far from Christmas as possible!)
But I will say as I get closer I’m also getting more excited by this child. I’m excited to so see what kind of big brother my son will be. I’m a little nervous that I won’t have the same connection to this baby that I had with my son, but as the due date looms a head I find myself less anxious about that. The more real this baby gets the easier it is to understand how I will be able to love it like I do my son. But at the beginning i couldn’t wrap my head around that because my son is my one and only.
That said another reason we decided to have a second was that I am hoping it helps me be more balanced with my son. Because he is the center of my world right now I think I tend to over everything with him. Over worry, over prepare, etc. I’m hoping a second child will give him a little more freedom. 
In the end I know I’m changing the make up of our family. And that with that change comes risk. But I believe the gamble will be worth it, and in the end I’ll have a happier more balanced family for it. It’s an act of faith from an atheist!

Answer

No way, it's hard work but so worth it. My family feels more complete 😍

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Honestly the only thing I sorta regret is waiting till my son was 4 to have another. I always told myself i didn’t want my children to be that far apart..... but on the other hand I was so sick and had such a rough first trimester idk what I would have done if he was any younger........ my husband works out of town about 85% of the year m-f and with being a sahm I can’t even imagine running around after an infant or toddler with as sick as I was. There were many nights I could barely stand up long enough to cook dinner. And he was such a big help to me. When I would get sick he would get his step stool and get me a glass of water and bring it to me in the bathroom. My little angel child. 
I never had worries like yours about having a second. Ever since my first I knew I wanted 3-4 children. I love big families.

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I never thought I could love anyone as much as my eldest. As soon as my second came...I did. Cannot imagine life without them both. I also felt like my eldest would be upset with me but we still spend lots of time together and do everything as a family together still.

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No, they will be 11 years apart 😉

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Ok so.... I’m 27+2 with my second. I regret having these two so close together. Being pregnant with a one year old is SO HARD! I’m FREAKING out about how I’m going to handle t once #2 arrives. Tantrums I can’t understand plus a newborn sounds like my nightmare..... I think 2 is a perfect age to start trying for another. Tantrums will still happen but kids are more vocal and will be way more verbal by the time Baby arrives. Plus at 3 years old your child will be way more helpful. My sister loves the 3 year age gap between her two kids. I would definitely regret not having more kids. I think you just need to think about age gap.

In all honesty do you ever regret having a second child?

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