When I'm really tired, I think of nurses and that helps me relax into sleep.

There was one point in my childhood when I was very, very sick and hospitalized with pneumonia and something else at the same time. I was there for a long time. I left a few times and had to go straight back. I was coughing so much that I coughed up blood and having coughing fits that wouldn't stop until I puked and then I would try to suck in air after puking and choke on my puke. I was sick as hell. They gave me drugs that made me tired (now that I'm older I think it was cough syrup with codeine) and then the nurses would get this rubber cup thing and sit me up and pat my back with this. It was a way to break mucus up in my lungs so that I could cough it out. My mom had to leave a few times Because my brother was a baby and she was breast feeding him and I have memories of them taking care of me which for some reason was super relaxing. Getting your back patted when you have crap in your lungs feels amazing. My lungs were actually sore and it hurt to breathe and that made it better. They were so nice to me and made me feel super safe for some reason. I was put on oxygen and i cried because I didn't like the plastic in my nose so they got me this "mouse mask" that didn't have to go up my nose and talked me into thinking it was cool. Those women were good at their jobs.

So now sometimes to go to sleep I think about the nurses 😂 I'm a weirdo

I apparently have scar tissue on my lungs because of all that. Being that sick is a very prominent memory for me.