in a funk......

well here goes, let's just say that I'm feeling rather meh just lately. don't know how to word it but me, my oh and my 2 daughters have been invited to my oh's brothers for new year and I do not want to go because I don't like him. he is a dick, period. The other thing that is bugging me is that I'm not sure how I feel about my oh anymore. 😔 we have been through so much this last year, friends passing away, we lost our baby due to an ectopic, he seems so distant, always on his mobile in bed, sex is rare,l. when I told him yesterday that I feel blue because my sister is pregnant and I am not anymore, he said I thought you were over that! That I need to get over it. I feel like a total mess, a failure, a wreck but I have no one I feel I can turn to. what do I do?