The house is a mess. I've been trying to clean and tidy but Baby is so upset. Her once predictable sleep routine and dependable eating schedule is in ruins. Maybe it's a growth spurt. Maybe she's fighting a bug. The Christmas gauntlet is finished and she survived the noise, unfamiliar people, the long drives, and lack of routine, but it's not without losses. The fussiness, the lack of sleeping, and the meal reductions have not been fun.

I'm trying to sweep the living room, trying to remove at least some of the dog hair, but Baby is having none of it. I try to distract her first with the Jolly Jumper, then with some toys, but nothing is working. I feel too exasperated, too annoyed with her fits. I'm trying everything I can think of but it's not enough, I can't help her.  My heart aches with each one of her tears. The best I can hope for in last few days is momentary distraction.

I temporarily give up on the floors. Maybe the dog will leave the pile of dirt and not try to eat it like last time. I pick up Babe and lay her down on the couch to change her diaper.

But what is this?

A smile?

The Storm of the Cloudy Baby has parted for a moment and she is happy! My heart melts. All that matters in my world is her.

I lean in and kiss her little face. She locks eyes with me and in turn caresses my face with an unrefined shakey hand. It's as though she was trapped by the Storm of the Cloudy Baby and momentarily can clearly see me. I am her safe place and she finally found me after days of crying.

I kiss her little hand and she squirms with delight. I continue to engage my darling and pretend to munch on her little hands. She giggles. My heart leaps! Her first giggle is shared with me!

Husband shouts from the kitchen that dinner is ready, but it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

Only this bundle of giggles exists. The plates and cutlery clang together, followed by Husband taking out the garbage to the bins. Somewhere the world keeps existing, but I'm no longer in it. I'm munching on my baby's tiny hands, bathing in giggles.

Before my mother gets Alzheimer's, before my brother moves away, before Husband gets cancer, before Baby borrows the car and gets into a serious collision... before all of that is this moment. This one perfect moment where we lay on the couch, and giggle, and nothing else matters. All the present and future stresses of the world cease to exist.

Maybe Heaven isn't a place. Maybe Heaven is a point in time. And every now and then we get to experience it.