Married 4 years, ttc 4 years with nothing.

Husband cheats "once off" and she gets pregnant. He changes immediately after the affair. Almost a year later when the baby is 2 weeks old he tells me about it.

I'm hurt and all that.......and I'm busy with my final exams for my degree, I prioritize my life problems. Now he tries to find mistakes and things to blame me for........because there's no way I can be the perfect spouse in this marriage.

'm done with school. I'm ready to leave him. Mind you he has told me countless number of times to pack my things (everything in the house excluding the house, it's his late mother's) and go. When I do pack he tells me to put everything back, I'm not going anywhere.

He messes everything up!!!!!! To make up he is fixing the financial mess he got me into.

1. A large loan he said he'll sell his car and pay that off next week.

2. Another larger sum of money next month that his boss promised him to pay another debt he got us in.

3. He messed up the sales deal for a property I had inherited (family were fighting over it). So this will take longer I think to be finalised. I want to leave him knowing my life is going forwards and not backwards.

3weeks ago I found out I have a fibroid. I'm on clomid 50 mg cd04.

I'm struggling to decide whether I should continue ttc with him divorce when the house stuff is done.

OR start birth controll, because refusing him sex for too long will lead to fight, sometimes he would strangle me to do what he wants ( don't worry I'm leaving him!!)

I don't hate him, but I do hate the decisions he makes and forces me to go along with them even when I show him the better alternative.

Manipulation is his second name, everything is about him, his opinion is the only one that counts.

He was unemployed since we got married, he started his new job 3 months ago, so it's safe to say that no one will say I'm leaving him because he is unemployed.People say all men cheat, well I guess "I 'm not the type that get into a relationship with men who are cheaters type" .

I'm glad this is happening now and not 10 more years from now.

I'm 26 have a degree and a great job which I start on the 2nd. This is what brought this about. I'm moving 85km from his mother's house he has a problem with me taking all my things, that he always tells me to pack when he gets angry.

While he works 1158km from home, he comes back when he is of from workf he has a car. Good for him cause he knows I'm tired of feeding his sorry ass.

I don't have a car, I can't be coming and going from work to his house all the time!

Sooooo he says I have to ask permission from him first......ok fine!

I'm trying to be the submissive wife who pleases her husband and polishes his ego and than BOOOOOOOOM you got served....with divorce papers. I don't want him to see it coming.

He once said he will kill us both if I left him. He can't and won't live without me. I never feel safe around him since the first time he slapped me and he punched me once and I lied to everyone about it.

He ruined so much for me. But 2018 is my year.

I will go where I want to go, finally buy my own car, build my dream home. Enjoy my money for once!!!!!

To ttc or not to ttc?