Pretending is exhausting!!!

Just got home from a girls day with my two best friends and I'm struggling to keep it together. One of them is 7 months pregnant and other just found she's 6 weeks. My husband and I have been trying for almost 3 years, and still nothing. I'm so excited for both of them and I want to be a part of their journeys every step of the way. I love getting to talk baby names and nursery ideas and all that fun stuff, but I got in my car after hours of baby talk with them and just broke down. I hate this feeling of jealousy and pure sadness that they're getting to experience this together and I'm still on the sidelines waiting for my turn. It's so hard to keep it together when I get to see two of my favorite people in the world experiencing the one thing I want more than anything, and they get to do It together. I'm proud of myself for keeping it together and being as genuinely happy as I possibly could be, but pretending that it's not also killing me inside is really rough. It just plain sucks.