Little rant

So I think I’m not over my ex but I think I am and I just idk I stopped eating cause he called me fat and people have said I’ve lost weight I just don’t beleive it he left me for no reason and I’ve just been so depressed lately it’s been 4 months and I dunno if I’m over him or if I’m just in love with the idea of love and tbh I just feel like this isn’t my life I’m living like I just want to die tbh