I would have been 12 weeks now... I was supposed to be 9 weeks at our first ultrasound appointment on 12/12... but instead I measured at 8 weeks- my baby had died a week prior and I didn’t know. I had a missed- miscarriage. I didn’t even know they existed. I had no symptoms or signs. We grow up thinking there will be cramps or bleeding but I had none of that... just sore boobs, gained 6 lbs, cravings.... everything that a “healthy” pregnant woman is supposed to have.

I had a d&c; on 12/15 to remove the rest of it. Instead of announcing my pregnancy to family on xmas day I was discussing when I found out the baby had no heartbeat. Two weeks after my D&C; and the bleeding/spotting has finally stopped. Tomorrow I go for my follow up appointment... wondering when it’s safe to try again ... I’m 38 and this was going to be baby number one so really, I don’t have all the time in the world. As hard as this is, I do believe everything, whether good or bad has a reason for happening in this world. God protects us from the bad, and saves us from suffering from worse. I hope I get my rainbow baby sooner rather than later. Physically I’m fine I’m just wondering when I’ll be emotionally/ mentally ready to start trying again. Hopefully soon I’ll begin to heal. Baby dust to all. 🌈👶🏻