I'm writing this cause I'm so heart broken and so tired of everyone around me getting Bfps! I lost my daughter born sleeping in 2017 why can't it ever be my turn? why is it always the ones that try less then a couple of months with no problem? what is wrong with my body? am I being punished? am I just to old now? I'm tired of faking a "congratulations " when I really don't mean it. I'm just hurt.. why can't I have my daughter right now? why am I always so bitter since I lost her? we have tried for 6m and nothing! I'm 37 and my own doctor turned me away and told me to come back in a year if I hadn't conceived.. I feel like I'm not being heard when I say IM NOT OVULATING! I have a peace of me missing and I feel like I'll never be.. happy again. I've been patient, I've used everything from opks, to BBt to charting and every month the same disappointment over and over again. My period will be here tomorrow or Friday I just want this cycle over and done with. I cry myself to sleep a lot, I pray. Self! just give up! why are you even trying ? it's never gonna happen your time clock is ticking slower so just let GO already!...sigh..

#venting