eating disorder and depression

I️ don’t really know how to explain much but i’m 15 and suffering with bulimia ednos and depression. I️ feel trapped in a hole and my doctors are refusing to put me on medications even though i️ need them because it’s getting severe and i’m tired of crying myself to sleep every night and i️ just want to feel

something other than hate and to know i’m not alone and this is so hard to say but i️ just want a friend (:)