should i be happy.?

let me start off by saying my bf and i have been togeather this time for over 3 years. what i mean by this time is when we where younger we use to date. We always kept in touch throughtout the years even thpu we both had long term abusive relationships which ended with his son with her and i had two girls with m

y crazy x. We both finally got out of those relationships and were able to come back into each others lives and have been through so much sence. but throuout this time he stated we would try to have a baby about a year ago and we have been unsucessful. so out of the blue the other day he says why dont we wait on the baby thing and get engaged! Now this shocmed me because he has said all along he doesnt believe in mareiage and would never ever ask ao if we were to be togeather i needed to accept that. In which i did, and then this.Of course i said yes. But idk how i feel about the no longer trying thing. i understand cuz of the situations were in and that were not financially ready, but who ever is actually prepared.? Am i wrong to feel this way.?